Major Crime Wave Sweeps Algarve

Crime Reporter Chip the Duck brings the latest news – 6 February 2014.

Reports are being received of multiple burglaries across the Algarve during the course of last night targeting the British expat population. Victims woke this morning to find that their homes had been broken into and all BBC channels removed from their televisions.

A victim support team has been set up providing access to an extensive library of DVDs available on loan.

Local police in Lagos, Western Algarve, who have been criticised for their lack of activity, said that the thefts had been widely exaggerated and advised those affected to clean their houses. Substantial fines will be imposed on those failing to remove all evidence of the thefts.

Meanwhile the senior officer in charge of the investigation across the region said that he believed that expats were deliberately removing the channels themselves and concealing them at a secret location inland.

However, rumours are now being received that an international crime syndicate based at White City in London may be behind the spate of thefts.

With uncharacteristic urgency, following instructions from Brussels, David Cameron announced that £50 million of British taxpayers money will be ringfenced to allow a crack team of officers from the Metropolitan police to visit Algarve beaches to look for evidence. They have already reported that they are interested in interviewing three known burglars in the Lagos area, although it is expected that these will become employees of local businesses by tomorrow morning.

Residents are advised to be on the alert after rumours were received that further thefts may take place imminently as the perpetrators develop a taste for ITV.

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About chiptheduck

Ambling through life in an uncoordinated fashion.
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4 Responses to Major Crime Wave Sweeps Algarve

  1. washknight says:

    OMG, no BBC, you must be distraught!

  2. angry in Oxhey says:

    Outraged by these thefts. You need a top detective on the case but Briggs, Louis, Bergerac, Dr Who, and Sherlock all went missing at the same time.

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